Excuse Talk

My new part-time job is managing all things reconstruction. I imagine this is like herding really slow cats — who need frequent naps.

Last Thursday I marched into two different offices because a week had gone by and I did not hear back as expected. Time was up — I needed some answers!

I got two very different responses.

Response #1: A phone call. Overly friendly voice, stated he had left a message last week — but did not remember which number — and quickly moved to setting up a time to come out.

I am a professor and have been for a long time. I know Excuse Talk when I hear it.

I went home and pulled up phone records on the computer. I checked my phone and Dear Husband checked his.

Nada. Nothing. No message from that person, the voice mail boxes were not full, and no phone call from his number.

I called the Regional Manager of the company and invited him to investigate since perhaps there was a logical explanation — but under the present circumstances, I told him, I was not comfortable working with their company any more.

Response #2: Receptionist grabbed the human involved — and he simply apologized for not getting back to me.

I will continue working with that company — they are trustworthy.

We see Excuse Talk in Life with Dogs. In fact, Berner-Garde will include Excuse Talk in individual dog records. You can spot it because it is listed as anecdotal and it usually strains credibility.

For example…

• A pattern of anecdotal entries from breeder along the lines of “puppy played rough…” to explain known-to-be-inherited orthopedic problems.

• Anecdotal entry that explains dog was frightened by fireworks (bitten by ant, had this or that drug, ate the wrong food under the wrong phase of the moon, etc.) and that caused her to develop XXX condition.

Excuse Talk is easy to do and it is understandable — we so want there to be an explanation that does not require us to face hard truths. I get it.

And we so want to believe the Excuse Talk of others — because recognizing that someone we care about (or need!) is a complicated and maybe not-all-that-honest human being is rough. And so we just let the Excuse Talk slide. It is just easier that way.

But Excuse Talk is more than an innocent tall tale. It can be a reflection of something central and core about a human being — a sort of Integrity Test.

How can I trust a Project Manager who lies?

I can’t — or more to the point, I won’t. Because in my world, integrity matters. A lot.

And if I give Excuse Talk a pass — in a Construction Project Manager, a student, or a breeder — I have allowed myself to join the dishonesty. Even more, when we give a pass it means we have not cared enough to invite change.

I have found that exposure of Excuse Talk can and often does result in positive — and sometimes even appreciated — changes, even though it is both hard to do and hard to hear.

And I am not just talking about other people — all of us can so easily slip into Excuse Talk mode. Sometime the one who needs us to call an Excuse Talk Alert is ourself.

There is no shame in being an imperfect human being — only in pretending the truth is something different than it is, and asking others to go along with the lie.

Hence my current lack of a Project Manager — and this blog.

Photos

This is Hal and his BFF, Abby (Sparkler). SO cute! Both of them.

Thank you, Kathy!

Daisy.

rePete has a better recall than most dogs.

Meow.

Claire and Daisy.

Claire has kindly refrained from going into season just yet — adding in the trip to breed her on top of everything else might send me straight into unraveled.

However, she is at eight months now so it will be any day. Maybe a few days away might be a blessing — washing dishes in the bathtub is no picnic, I assure you.

Happy Thursday to ALL.

Adventures in Retail Sales

When I was sixteen I started working at Hickory Farms — getting a job was a condition of being allowed to officially drop out of high school.

Yes, I did that. Dropped out of high school in the middle of my junior year — but that is a different post.

Do you remember Hickory Farms? Do they even still exist??

I was a top salesperson at the Southland Mall location of Hickory Farms, which did not surprise my mother — I remember her saying that I could sell ice cubes to people who lived in igloos.

I was never actually sure if that was a compliment or not??

My dad says that sales is all about finding out what people need and then helping them understand how what we have to sell will meet that identified need. I am not sure anyone really needed a giant Hickory Farms beef summer sausage but I did sell a lot of them.

Being a professor is a sales job, now that I think of it. I sell ideas, skills, and knowledge to people who often have no idea why they should want those things. I guess I also sell the value of higher education. Luckily, I am selling something that I believe in — see above regarding my lack of a high school diploma and add in teenage parent and a few other risk factors — higher education = life changer.

Huh. Interesting.

Anyway, on Saturday I took my Dishwasher Fiasco Project Notebook and headed out to once again engage in retail sales — as a customer.

This project requires a notebook that constantly reminds me to keep the faith.

I was even dressed reasonably well for my foray into retail sales since I was also going to a wedding reception — I am not known for caring a great deal about what I am wearing, preferring to be something of a surprise.

The first stop was a Flooring Store — the current plywood sub-flooring is not really a good long-term option for our non-existent kitchen.

Oh Dear. How was I supposed to know that the salesperson did not actually want to be bothered at work?! I resisted the urge to apologize.

I explained what I was looking for and why.

She condescended to lead me around the store, balanced precariously on tall platform heels that seemed to help make the short skirt swish to and fro. “Sister!” I wanted to say, “that outfit seriously fails the bend over test — front and rear!”

A puzzling look for a flooring salesperson — or a dog show exhibitor, FYI.

But she lost me completely when she assumed that my desire for a pet friendly floor was due to a lack of house training!!

Basically, the salesperson made me feel icky. Therefore, I will not be spending the insurance company’s money at their store.

Salespeople should not insult the personal habits of the customer’s dogs — and should endeavor not to make customers feel icky.

Next stop — appliances.

Thanks to Jake/Megan (one of Dear Sons/Dear Daughter-in-laws) we have an amazingly awesome — and new — refrigerator and since the kitchen is getting a remodel, we might as well upgrade the other appliances. There is a bit of a Snowball Effect associated with this whole giant mess.

I was specifically looking at stove/oven/range stuff.

The salesperson did not seem resentful that I had shown up to bother him at work — that was a good sign. He seemed to know what he was talking about, and I was spared the worry that he might fall off his shoes and break an ankle — I appreciated that.

But he wasn’t listening very well — because he did all the talking.

And by doing all the talking, he failed to ask relevant questions that would have helped him target the sale to my specific needs.

Instead, I received an informative lecture about stoves and ovens. Here are my notes:

1. Induction stoves are the very best and safest and all the cool kids have induction stoves. Only a loser would not want an induction stove.

2. Of course I will want a big hood over my (induction) stove to get rid of the grease and smell — do I really want the kitchen filled with the smoke from the roast or have a house that stinks of last week’s fried fish!? (ahem — vegetarian).

3. My ideas about what I thought wanted are so basic, so average, so loser as to hardly be worth carrying in the store — but will run about $1500.

Salespeople should try really hard not to cause customers to feel like they should go directly to the local tattoo parlor and get an L for Loser inscribed on their forehead.

Undaunted by these educational experiences in how not to sell stuff, I shall continue my search for the perfect pet-friendly floor and the perfect-for-us stove/oven. Somewhere out there is a salesperson who is good at selling what we need — I just know it!

And now I find myself wanting a good Jarlsberg cheese — like the one I sold at Hickory Farms when I was sixteen.

Happy Monday to you — and good luck if you are selling or buying today.