Another Last Straw? How is This Possible?!

Even a die-hard optimist like me gets discouraged and worn down at times — I can only imagine how hard the last 20 or so months has been on those who started it with a less than sunny outlook.

The pandemic has been tough. Dead people. Divisions. Broken relationships. Broken hearts. Shattered lives. Shattered dreams.

It is like Covid peeled something important away and left us exposed and raw, and then forced us to see who and what people really are — including ourselves. I think that has been one of the hardest parts for me — the loss of my illusions.

But the loss of what we thought was real is just one of a cascade of sorrows that has rained down on every one of us for months and months and months. I suspect I am not alone in saying to the Universe: “UNCLE!!! I said UNCLE!!! Please stop.”

So many of us have been operating on Last Straw mode for more weeks and months than we care to remember — and the pile of broken last straws just gets higher.

I say this because it is true and because I want others to know — as I know — that it is normal for all of this to be hard.

One of my many last straws was when Claire’s meniscus was torn — a complication in about 4% of TPLOs (the surgery she had — twice — last Spring). This meant yet another surgery for Claire. Will she ever have a normal coat again?!

It occurred to me yesterday that likely Claire will be cold outside — that is not something I typically worry about with Berners. I added frostbite to my list of things to fret over.

Next post: What to do about Last Straw Life.

Why Fun Matters

It has been a long time since I have done agility — over two years in fact. One of my local dog clubs hosted a trial this weekend and so I both worked the trial and competed with Sparkle.

People are not heading back to agility trials in pre-pandemic numbers in our area. Did they realize there is more to life, I wondered at first, than dog events every weekend?

But as the weekend went gone on, I realized that a dog event is actually many of the things that makes life wonderful in one short burst of time.

Sparkle at the trial site

There is often travel, which is just fun all by itself. I got to be with my community — with my friends. People like me.

Agility courses require thinking and strategizing and having fun. They shift us out of what passes for normal life and into a whole new space — it is like being temporarily transported to a happy place, no matter the outcome on a course or in a ring.

Life has so many demands and stressors, and this is especially true in a pandemic. We all need protective factors that boost and support our resilience. For me, dog events provide several of the resiliency protective factors at once and so not only are they fun, dog events also help me handle the rest of my life.

An agility trial or dog show may not be your thing but I hope you are able to identify what does provide oxygen to your Little Soldiers. It turns out that FUN is actually not optional if coping well is one of our life goals.

Tribe

The annual August test of the Big Sky Tracking Dog Club of Montana happened yesterday on the campus of the University of Montana.

I was a tracklayer and so I spent both Saturday and Sunday mornings with my tracking tribe. Although those of us who were there have differences, we come together over a shared love of dogs and tracking to form a community.

It is so wonderful to be reminded that we fit in these human niches, whatever they are. Humans, no matter how introverted, are social by nature — it is how we survive. The pandemic has interrupted so many of our connection points, and while certainly there is value in pruning away some of those pre-pandemic demands, we still need connection.

I am trying to find balance between connections and safety given the Covid surge, and it is tough. Just trying to navigate this takes Little Soldiers, doesn’t it?

I wonder if one reason that masks have become a bit of a tribal identity symbol (understatement alert) is simply because the pandemic has made us so desperate for connection.

I am definitely in the Masked Tribe.

Too bad we cannot all be connected by a shared sense of love and responsibility to — and for — each other.

Animals like their tribes as well. I imagine it is not easy to live in a world where the language, culture, customs, expectations are all so different than our hard wiring. When you are the only one like you — how hard would that be?

There is comfort in likeness. Familiarity feels like home.

Can you tell which is Pozy and which is Capella?

We all need that — even in a pandemic. We just need to do it safely so that our tribes survive.

You matter. Stay safe. And have a terrific day.