How Pandemic Life has Ruined Twirling

I miss Normal Life.

You know, that time when we could go places and do fun things and not have nightmares about giving Covid-19 to someone we love.

I miss things being as they are supposed to be. Not this misshapen version of life.

The dead people — over 197,000 in the USA — I want them alive. I want all the broken hearts to be whole again.

I want my innocence back — I did not want to know all the things about people. The selfishness. The ignorance. The racism.

It all hurts my heart.

I want to do my own version of twirling again.

And I can’t.

I thought I would venture out in settings I considered careful — to twirl around the show ring with my dogs.

And then I saw photos of a Berner person proudly showing her dog with her silly gauze mask on her chin.

That is the kind of person I would need to trust.

I pulled my entries.

If my tribe is wrong about masks, all that has happened is we have worn masks.

If her tribe is wrong about masks, people die.

I do not get it. Wouldn’t one put up with something annoying and inconvenient if it might save a life?

Like a seat belt?

A designated driver?

A stop sign?

A Building Inspector?

A leash?

You know what I wish?

I wish they cared.

About the dead people and all the broken hearts.

About how their ___________ (insert any number of unflattering character traits) is ruining things for the rest of us in small ways — and devastating ways.

I miss Normal Life but even more, I miss the peace of mind I used to have twirling through the world…

…not knowing I was surrounded by people who would happily kill others with their ignorance.

Their very intentional ignorance.

Pandemic Life is exhausting and sad, isn’t it? For so many reasons.

Pandemic Life

Yesterday I rented a lawn aerator. In spite of a mask mandate, only one other person was wearing a mask at the hardware store.

Pandemic Life is hard in so many ways but the category of Tribe is the one that challenges me most.

As I stood there in my Berner mask at the rental counter with maskless people hither and yonder, I felt a profound sense of aloneness.

These are not my people and this is not my place, I thought to myself.

Where, I wondered as I drove home, are my people? My place? My tribe?

Where, I wondered, is SAFETY?

And the voice that tries so hard to be kind, balanced, and inclusive was scolding me for thinking so poorly of these people, and trying to create a narrative that makes these policy-breaking, maskless people something other than selfish, horrible, stupid, careless idiots.

That voice, that scolding voice, is mine.

It is exhausting.

I am trying not to judge. I am trying so hard not to think terrible things. I am trying to see differences as deserving of at least respect, and to acknowledge that I do not have the corner on Truth.

But the reality is that I fail constantly.

188,000 Americans are dead because of Covid-19. That is Truth.

And masks and social distancing and other simple measures would have saved so many of those people.

I am exhausted arguing with myself about how and what to think about the actions of others in the face of a deadly virus. And I am tired of being exhausted by this effort.

My math looks like this: No mask = dead people.

There is nothing I can put into that equation that changes it for me. I try — but all I see are dead people and the broken hearts left in the wake of careless, maskless so-called freedom.

I yearn for people I can trust — people who care.

I miss my Tribe.

So much.

New Term & Helpful Tool

I heard a new term this morning and I love it: Sheep Barometer.

A Sheep Barometer works like this: Person posts a grievance on social media. Instead of pondering if there is more to the story or considering the impact of flocking someone on social media, the comments pour in:

BAA

BAA

BAA

BAA

The sheep do not realize they have been manipulated into a giant social media pile-on because sheep — well — are not always the best critical thinkers, are they?

Better to be a goat, FYI.

Pozy loves Sparkle…

…and Karma loves Pozy…

It is just a Lovefest around here. We even love sheep! We just know to expect them to behave and think like sheep. That is the value of the Sheep Barometer — it helps us have realistic expectations.

Have a love-filled day, free thinking like a goat.