The Daily Q: Anxiety

We made it through another day — another Q for you!

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Let’s talk about Anxiety today because the collective Anxiety over Covid-19 is palpable.

Many have Anxiety humming alongside in their usual lives. Sometimes she is just purring quietly in the background and letting us get on with Life. Other times, Anxiety is loud and demanding of our attention.

Like now.

People who do not live with Anxiety cannot really understand what it is like to have that constant background noise, or how challenging it can be to get anything done when Anxiety is revved up. When Anxiety is poked, she is a demanding bitch indeed.

Covid-19 jumped out from a doorway in a big, scary mask and sent the collective Anxiety into overdrive. It also created new Anxiety for people who do not typically walk through the world with her as a constant companion.

Never mind the Zombies — Welcome to the Anxiety Apocalypse.

The results are predictable.

Some are spinning off to buy every roll of toilet paper within a quarantine-allowed radius.

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Others are hopping mad, fighting the restrictions or the media or the memes on Facebook.

Some people are frozen and/or disassociated, flooded by their emotions and unable to process information or figure out what to do.

Fight, flight, freeze — that is what we do when we feel threatened. What makes Anxiety especially loud and demanding in the face of this new threat is that there is so much uncertainty associated with Covid-19, and uncertainty is rocket fuel for Anxiety.

Anxiety has been unleashed, and no — it is not pleasant nor should you expect it to be narrowly focused on Covid-19. When Anxiety gets poked, she sets us off on a Worry Train about EVERYTHING.

What I have done today is (hopefully) illustrate a technique for handling Anxiety — separating the problem from the person. It is easy to make Anxiety the whole of who and what we are — but it is not. Anxiety is something that shows up — we are not Anxiety.

Thinking this way can remind us that we have control, and can help us avoid catastrophizing or engaging in all-or-nothing thinking. Further, thinking of Anxiety as something external to the essence of who and what we are can help us remember the many internal and external resources we have to deal with Anxiety.

Dogs are exempt from the social distancing guidelines — hug away!

Dogs are exempt from the social distancing guidelines — hug away!

Some ideas:

Try to avoid saying things like, “I am anxious” or “I am an anxious person” and instead observe when Anxiety shows up.

“Anxiety is visiting again,” you tell yourself.

Take a few minutes to visit with Anxiety, and offer reassurance. Involve the other parts of who and what you are — Calm, Smart, Resourceful, and Rational — to get Anxiety to simmer down.

Recognize that Anxiety is likely to be a frequent companion right now — that is normal and expected. Understand her purpose is to serve as a reminder that you are managing in uncertain times. When she taps on your shoulder, just turn around and thank her, and let her know you got this.

Because you do.

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Nudge for today: Make a list.

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It could be about strategies to try when Anxiety shows up, or it could be what you want to accomplish today. Lists help us stay grounded and focused, and those are good things right now.

And remember — all you need to handle is right now.

The Daily Q

Welcome to The Daily Q, a place to support Q for Qualifying in the face of Q for Quarantine.

Qualifying in what?! We are stuck at home, after all.

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All kinds of things. Life. Stress. Isolation. Anxiety. Loss. And yes — eventually with our dogs. This is a TEMPORARY thing. Don’t forget that.

This blog will now be an everyday thing with a content mix designed to (hopefully) entertain, inform, educate, and connect us in the face of a global pandemic.

We will look at resilience, how to handle anxiety, discuss ideas for training dogs on our own, and just generally have a place to connect over the new reality that is Life with Covid-19.

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We are living in a scary time — we should not pretend otherwise because that is dangerous to everyone.

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Therefore, please remember that being anxious and worried and all that is normal — wouldn’t it be strange if we were blase in the face of a pandemic?!

But it is not useful, comfortable, or productive to drown ourselves in the fear and anxiety — Chicken Little is not one of those admired characters in literature, you may recall.

When (not if — when) you find yourself in Chicken Little mode, try these techniques:

First, acknowledge those feelings and invite them in to your mind and heart. Look at them, respect them, and just sit with them. After a few minutes, thank them and send them on their way; they are messengers, after all, and do not need to take up permanent residence.

Lucky for rePete, a stray cat is not an emotion; permanent residency was allowed.

Lucky for rePete, a stray cat is not an emotion; permanent residency was allowed.

Second, pay attention to how your body is feeling and when you notice tension and anxiety, do the following breathing exercise:

  1. Put your tongue at the top of your mouth where it meets the front teeth, and close your mouth.

  2. Breath in gently through your nose for a count of four.

  3. Hold it for a count of seven.

  4. Exhale with a steady whoosh through your mouth with your tongue in place for a count of eight.

Watch a funny show or movie — laughter can help with anxiety.

Watch a funny show or movie — laughter can help with anxiety.

Expect to sometimes have to work at calming yourself — that is normal right now.

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A third tip for today — petting a dog is calming to our bodies. Try petting your dog for sixty seconds while saying out loud things you are grateful for — and yes, it is okay to just repeat, “I am grateful for my dog” for sixty seconds.

A nudge for today — go outside.

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If that is not possible, sit by a window and look outside. Notice and say out loud the things that are beautiful and wonderful.

That includes you.

We got this. Together.