The Daily Q: On Criticism

“How does criticizing help?”

I was asked that on social media when I posted a link to a Washington Post opinion piece titled The worst president. Ever written by Max Boot, a journalist with exceptional credentials.

I continue to reflect on her question about the utility of criticism, and not just in terms of Covid-19 but also in life. What is the role of criticism? What function does it serve? Is it fair? Is it useful?

And then I recognized the irony in the question. Asking, “how does criticizing help?” was a way to criticize ME.

People are so interesting.

I think the point of criticism is to create a pause and reflect response. It is an invitation to consider whether a course correction is in order.

The governor of South Dakota, for example, is being widely criticized for failing to shut down her state, instead insisting individuals are responsible for their choices.

South Dakota is now a coronavirus hot spot. Congratulations, Governor. Your citizens’ right to get sick and die has been preserved.

Criticism is not the same as an insult. An insult is a personal attack — like mocking a disabled reporter, calling someone names, or taunting the president for being orange.

An insult is personal and mean, based on some perceived or observed quality of the human; we use them instead of substance. The point is not to persuade but to wound.

Being nice means being honest — and being honest sometimes includes criticism. Note: Criticism is just words expressing a different opinion — SO? You get to keep your birthday even when criticized.

Being nice means being honest — and being honest sometimes includes criticism. Note: Criticism is just words expressing a different opinion — SO? You get to keep your birthday even when criticized.

Silencing critics is a dangerous practice, no matter where you land on the political spectrum. Critics make us think, and thinking is a necessary skill when navigating difficult choices.

Or maybe I should say that in a human being with a sufficiently mature ego, critics make us think. In someone who lacks emotional maturity, critics create emotional dysregulation and overreaction because criticism is confused with insult.

And so back to the question: “How does criticizing help?”

It helps by offering a different perspective. It helps by inviting thought. It helps by opening conversation. It helps by increasing understanding, even when disagreement remains. It helps by suggesting a course correction, even if we elect not to do it.

You know what else criticism does? It helps us assess character, maturity, and ego strength. A reasonably well-functioning person handles criticism in thoughtful, reflective ways — that is the kind of person we should trust with our lives.

Newsweek photo.

Newsweek photo.

The Daily Q: We Track on

I am pleased to share that Sadie Rose, age almost six months, passed her extra long certification track yesterday. The link to the highlights of the track — and the explanation for the length — can be found HERE. Congratulations to Suzanne and Sadie!

I am driving today, an unexpected link in a group effort to get Kai back to California. Wish us all luck.

The Daily Q: Smile

Laughter and smiling have positive mental and physical effects.

Daisy and Kai

Daisy and Kai

It is not disloyal or disrespectful to do these things in the face of tragedies. I would argue, in fact, they are necessary.

This is Berkeley with two-day-old Claire.

2 Berkeley and Chrome in car seat.jpg

Now almost 3.5 years, here is Berkeley’s first written word.

Berkeley's first word.jpg

That sure made me smile.