Center Stage

If all goes according to plan, Berkeley, age 5, will be making her debut on April 9…

Her dog partner will be Capella. Much Cuteness will ensue, I assure you — and photos and video.

The show is in Caldwell, Idaho on April 8 - 10.

It is hard to convey my excitement with words. Seriously. There are not enough words of the right thrill magnitude to say what it means to have all the best things in one weekend — like these three (note Daisy in the background)…

And Claire will be back in the obedience ring…

I will show Capella again in the beauty pageant. My daughter is meeting me for the weekend, I can see so many people and dogs I love, and so on and so forth.

This trip will be made possible because Almighty Heidi will stay at my house for three nights with the dogs (and cats) who are staying home. #gratitude

The last show I went to was in October, and it was also in the Boise area.

What most do not know was that on the way to Boise in the RV I received several messages when I finally was in cell services again. Long story short — Harper had shown up at a stranger’s house down the road a bit, and that person had reached out to some neighbors who thought she belonged to me.

Literally — my dogs have never been loose or lost. N.E.V.E.R.

I sat in the RV in that tiny spot of cell service frantically trying to reach The Husband. The person had walked Harper home but left her loose — not in a fenced yard — and because of no cell service, all of this was in the past tense.

I was hysterical — six hours from home, in the dark, and imagining that Claire and Pozy were also loose and that by now, all three were dead and/or gone.

It was one of the worst experiences of my life — not hyperbole.

Busy with his guest, who I now know used her flight benefits to stay at my house whenever I left town, the glitching Husband did not respond to my frantic texts or my repeated calls. I sent someone over to the house — that finally got his attention.

Harper was safe — Claire and Pozy had not been loose. Photo evidence was required and provided. Eventually, I stopped crying and shaking but I knew then that he could not be trusted with the dogs ever again — it wasn’t too long before I also discovered he could not be trusted with my heart either.

And so no, I have not been able to go anywhere. I have not seen my grandchildren since October. This is time — and small human hugs — I can never get back. Ever.

All choices have consequences, don’t they? Like a pebble in a pond — ripples spread outward. In this case, it was actually more like an underground earthquake with tsunami waves hitting the beaches of the land mass called “M-A’s Life.”

The trauma of all the things that have happened and been revealed since that October day will never leave me — that is the nature of trauma. It leaves an indelible mark on our soul. Our job is to take that scar, that evidence of resilience, however wobbly and fragile at times, and turn it into something meaningful.

Like having a new and profound appreciation for a friend who can be trusted, a dog who can be shown, a family who can be hugged, and maybe most of all — for a resilient spirit that can transform tragedy, making that scar into a star or a heart or something else that reflects who and what we really are.

It was Ash Wednesday yesterday. One does not need to be part of a Christian faith community to recognize the value of the Ash Wednesday message. Basically — Human, you are going to be ashes someday. This is not a dress rehearsal. Get going on that wild and precious life.

I will add: Be nice about it.

Reconstruction

The walk-out basement feels like a metaphor. I am reconstructing the basement while I am reconstructing me.

One difference is that while my life was deconstructed without my consent, the basement deconstruction (and reconstruction) is absolutely my choice. And so is my personal reconstruction — I control that as well.

That is always good to remember. We do not have control over things that happen to us — we only have control over what we do in the aftermath.

This is the guest bathroom countertop before it fell victim to my reconstruction project.

Note new floor!

It looks orange in the photo but it was more of a cream with an orange pattern — and formica.

This is the countertop when I was done…

It isn’t perfect — this reconstruction — and yes, it is messy at times. But just look at the difference!

Okay — yes, the handle needs to be straightened but how cute are the moose?!

It was done with a special paint that I did over a weekend in multiple colors/coats.

Who knew that was a thing?! Not me.

I am learning so much about what is possible. I cannot, however, do it all myself and so I am getting better at asking for help. My awesome plumber not only installed the sink yesterday but also did the caulk around the countertop for me. Because I asked.

People do not know what we need unless we ask.

I asked Almighty Heidi Husband’s for help and …

Let There Be Light. And gratitude — so much gratitude.

The reconstruction is very intentionally focusing on things that make me happy.

Little uplifts that serve as reminders that happiness and reasons to smile still exist. I am very intentional about this reconstruction project — both of them.

I am so grateful that others are watching and supporting me.

Thank you, Sue, for that amazing and fun photo. I think I should frame it and add it to the bathroom. Also, I want to rub those cute moose ears. Is that a thing in Alaska?!

I was pretty okay not knowing how to refinish a countertop and am not at a point where I feel grateful about being shoved into my reconstruction project(s). But here I am.

Check out the reflections in that photo. Wow.

And there I go. Into my wild and precious life. With dogs.

Waiting....

I have two scones in the freezer for when Carol and Sharon arrive from Colorado — Carol said they were on their way!

Perfect Sister sent the required orange slices all the way from California — there is not a single Trader Joe’s in all of Montana!

The cats supervised from their bed on my desk…

There was actually an occasion for these scones — Almighty Heidi’s Dear Husband mounted my new TV in my Cozy Room…

Today’s projects includes dealing with the cord and hanging the new blinds (or attempting to do both — one never knows how these things will go!).

So much gratitude to Chuck and Heidi — the plate says it all…

And I LOVE this dog and this photo and the human who shared it — this is Sparkler, Ruthie…

Happy Sunday!