Get to Yes

Mary-Ann Sontag March 14, 2021

If someone were to tell you “NO!” right at this minute, would you understand which of the many things you were saying, doing, and/or thinking was the target of the cease and desist message?

Likely not.

Instead, you would probably freeze on multiple levels and not know what to do next.

Welcome to the life of most puppies (and too many children).

If a human said NO! at that moment: Should the puppy stop biting a sibling? Stop biting the tunnel? Stop having fun? Sit instead of down? Get out of the tunnel? Get off the Cato Board? And so on…

“No!” — an error message — is like a shotgun blast. Good luck just hitting the little target with that. Collateral damage is assured.

Error messages are frustrating for all concerned. They are confusing, ineffective, and most of all — they do not help the puppy (or human) understand what to do instead.

Our goal is to shape desired behavior — that does not happen when we simply stop undesired behavior. We need to lose the word “NO” and get to “Yes.” This requires that we pay attention to what is going well and consistently reinforce it.

Undesired behavior needs to be thought of as a television channel — if you do not like what is playing, change the flipping channel — don’t just yell at the television.

We change the channel with a puppy using redirection and distraction, and teaching/reinforcing an incompatible behavior.

Let me give an example: Puppy jumping up.

Puppies are so happy to see us and want to be closer to our faces — so they jump up. Normal. Expected. And maybe best not to reinforce because it won’t be safe when the puppy is big.

What happens when one says “NO!” to puppy jumping up?

First, my puppies are smart and talented but I do not teach them English and so you might as well yell “PANCAKE” for all the effect it will have.

Second, even if your word is loud enough to scare the puppy (#mean) off your new pants (and WHY were you wearing nice pants around a puppy?!), which of the things the puppy was doing at that moment did you want to stop? Being happy to see you?! #fail

The solution is easy peasy. Do not give the puppy a chance to jump up — instead, always be ready to help the puppy greet you with a sit. I will do a video later this week — it is not hard at all. And when you are not paying attention and the puppy does jump up, just ignore her until she is four-feet-on-the-floor — and then reinforce that behavior.

The best way to extinguish a behavior is to ignore it. If it cannot be ignored — redirect and/or remove the puppy.

The best way to get a behavior to happen more is to notice and reinforce it. Practice this on the humans around you — the results will amaze you.

Filter is Slipping

Mary-Ann Sontag March 13, 2021

Sometimes not sleeping enough is good — like today when I need to just dive into a hard topic, and not waste time trying to find the exact perfect words.

The topic is dog trainers.

Brace yourself.

I get it. When I started training my first Berner, I just did what the trainer said — after all, she was the dog trainer. What did I know?

That was wrong.

It turns out I knew a lot — about being kind and ethical and smart in how I train dogs.

But it took me a couple of years to develop the confidence to say, “no — ends do not justify means.” I still feel proud that I refused to pinch my dog’s ear to teach her to retrieve but I feel shame that I ever fell for the “power steering” argument for using a prong collar.

Shame, however, is not helpful. It can keep us stuck as we desperately defend our behavior, trying hard to manage the cognitive dissonance between what we know is right and doing the wrong thing because someone told us to do it.

Authority is a powerful driver of behavior, responsible for all manner of unfortunate things, large and small. Consider, after all, the Milford Experiment. Good people will do shitty things to other humans — and dogs — when told by an authority to do it.

It has been decades since I read Don’t Shoot the Dog and discovered how to train dogs using the concepts of behavioral theory — something I know quite a bit about because of my professional life.

Armed with a clicker and a bunch of treats, I stopped teaching classes at a training center that continued to advocate what I was able to recognize as unnecessary and abusive techniques. I trained my dog — and then the next one and the next one and so on — using ethical, positive, effective training techniques.

It became a mission for me — to show that it is possible to have high achieving performance dogs without scaring or hurting them.

Zoey. Great-grandmother of the Bright Stars.

When Zoey died — and let me tell you that even after three years, writing that still brings the tears — I had no regrets about her training. I gave her the life she deserved — every single day. That means more than anything to me. Ends NEVER justify means in my book.

I walked out of an obedience seminar two years ago when the very successful trainer started showing humans how to abuse their dogs. Would she call it abuse? Of course not. But here is the criteria — try that technique on a human. If it would land you in jail on an assault charge, maybe it is not a good strategy for a dog either.

“Officer, it was just a bop on the nose!”

As I get ready to send these small lives into the world, I am terrified of what awaits them — things that I cannot control once they leave.

Like dog trainers.

Let me help you be smarter than I was when I started.

If the trainer says she is a balanced trainer, walk out. That is current code for I will pet/praise AND use techniques your dog prefers to avoid.

If the trainer doesn’t use food in training, walk out. Failing to use a primary reinforcer is a clue you are in the presence of someone who will use techniques your dog prefers to avoid. Before you leave, ask them if they expect a paycheck or if it is enough that people say they are doing a good job.

If the trainer says anything about dominance or a puppy trying to be the boss of you — a puppy who is LITERALLY 100% dependent on you — don’t let the door slam on the dog’s tail as you walk out.

If the trainer wants you to use a prong collar or choke collar (ahem, CHOKE), get thee gone.

A word about shock collars. They call them e-collars now because saying SHOCK collars sounds so — well — cruel. Besides, e-collar sounds kinda high tech and cool — like e-cigarettes and e-bikes.

Do e-cigarettes shock smokers? Do e-bikes shock riders? Nope. Can you imagine what would happen to sales if e-cigarettes and e-bikes delivered a shock to users?!

Do e-collars shock dogs? Of course. That is the point. Don’t be e-fooled.

If the trainer mentions Cesar Milan in a flattering way — skip the walking and run.

Unfortunately, it can be really hard to figure out whether the trainer is a “walk away” type or a safe one. Here are some ideas to help you sort that out:

Read over these Position Statements of the American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior, including the one on How to Choose a Trainer. When we know better, we do better.

Look for these letters after the trainer’s name: CPDT; this is especially relevant for puppy training and pet manners.

If you want some help discerning whether the trainer is a safe one, feel free to send me info and I will do some research for you.

I offer this website as an example of what to look for in a trainer. How fortunate is Wildflower Buttercup that she lives with that trainer?!

Trust me: I do not lose sleep over Buttercup — or Zeus, who attends training classes at that center and therefore, is both ethically and kindly trained AND gets to see his sister regularly.

There is no shame in needing to change and grow and learn new ways of doing things. In fact, I see recognizing and embracing the need to evolve and change as laudable.

Have an ethical day.

Evening Photos

All Ten Bright Stars — one has his leg turned oddly but that is not how he normally is!

I imported some snow for them. This is Nova Jr.

The Importance of Expectations

Mary-Ann Sontag February 15, 2021

Today the Bright Stars met the Cato Board.

The first thing they did was chew/mouth it. Of course they did — that is how puppies explore the world.

Like human babies, everything goes in their mouths and this includes each other — and the humans.

Mouthing, biting, and chewing is normal and appropriate behavior for a puppy. In fact, it would be a bad sign if a puppy (or human infant) did not put everything in their mouth.

We can no more stop puppy mouthing and chewing than we can stop human babies from putting everything in their mouths.

And we shouldn’t even try — unless we want to raise a neurotic puppy or child.

When puppies are in their Baby Shark phase, we do two things. First, we redirect the puppy chewing to things we can both agree on.

Second, we allow mouthing on hands for the purpose of teaching bite inhibition. It is easy — when the puppy bites too hard, we shriek. This conveys to the puppy: OUCH!!!!!!! If the puppy continues to be rough, we do the mother dog thing — and this may surprise you…

When a puppy is playing too rough or generally being unruly, a mother dog simply leaves. That is it: she just removes herself from the puppy.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Mother dogs are kind to their babies.

Littermates also educate about bite inhibition. When a puppy is too rough with another, we all know it and the offending puppy gets the message.

Having realistic expectations of puppies, dogs, kids, each other — and ourselves — is so important. We create frustration and disappointment when we fail to have informed and reasonable expectations, and nobody deserves to live with all that.

The other new thing with the Bright Stars is a crate.

At nighttime, all items are removed from the puppy areas for two reasons. First, it is safer that way, even though Dear Husband continues to be up with them overnight. Second, we want the puppies to understand that we sleep at night and play during the day (except for Dear Husband, of course).

The Moonshadows have new items today as well.