Kira and Jay (Bright Star Atlas’s humans) stopped by on Sunday — they are two more reasons I love living in Boise 🩷💙 They got to see for themselves that other than her traitorous leg, Sparkle is as she has always been.
It was validating to have others understand why I would have a nearly 12-year-old Berner’s leg amputated. 🙏
Sparkle is not miserable — unless she falls or slips and that leg is not protected. When that happens she cries and air snaps with pain. It is horrible.
I do my best to keep Sparkle safe. There are area rugs everywhere. When she needs to get up, she whines and looks at me, and I help her to her feet. She wakes me up 2 - 3 times per night to change places/positions, or to get a drink. Once up, she is surprisingly mobile. We have a medication pain control plan that is working.
And yet sometimes she slips. Like yesterday. It was awful. And when that happens, I cannot wait to have that leg gone.
Taken this morning — Sparkle in front. Do you see how she holds that right rear leg even when resting?
Most of the time though, I grieve the loss of her wholeness.
We are traveling to Montana to have our trusted veterinarian do the surgery tomorrow.
Sparkle’s leg is not the only thing being removed. This giant tree in my new yard is apparently in the evil Tree Gang that has been trying to take me out — a branch fell on a windy day last week and it could have been a disaster for me or a dog (or a perched squirrel, I suppose).
The tree is not healthy and so it will be removed today, which is also sad — but necessary.
Sometimes we have to lose things, people, trees, houses, relationships, legs, etc. in order to have our bright, shiny new beginnings. I know this so well.
That doesn’t mean there is an “at least” or silver living or that we are happy the sad thing happened. It means we mourn the loss of the leg AND we hop into the next adventure. Both of those things can happen at the same time, and they should.
Sparkle’s wholeness is griefworthy.
AND I am glad that she will be rid of the pain.
Sometimes we forget that the human experience is more AND than OR.
Thank you, friend, for being on our three-legged journey.
❤️
