Part 2. Still not a political post, even though I include an image of politicians. That said — isn’t everything political?
I am an equal opportunity crusader. I do not just want Life with Dogs to be fair — I want Life to be fair.
And it isn’t. I know that.
But does human imperfection mean we give up trying to make things better?
I have two challenging situations going on that have highlighted how difficult it is to be a woman in what is still a man’s world.
Do you doubt it is still a man’s world?
How many of your tribe have a seat at the table? Source: White House photo.
A woman who stands up and faces down a man with power does so at her own peril. And let me tell you this — it takes a great deal of something to do it knowing that you will likely be insulted and dismissed.
“Nasty”
“Hostile”
“Meltdown”
“Unhinged”
This is part of the explanation for why people stay silent in the face of unfortunate behavior — because being attacked for speaking up is so painful.
Note that I did not say the attack was for saying untrue things — rather, too often the attack is simply for speaking truth.
Anger is an appropriate human reaction to injustice — but a woman, no matter how thoughtfully, expresses it at considerable personal and professional risk.
There is an implicit social narrative that angry women are bad, nasty, crazy — even unseemly. But it is not just social pressure that supports that narrative. I believe we all have that internalized schema — do you, after all, know the answer to this question?
And so women who want things to be just are not only dealing with powerful huMANs who want to maintain the status quo but also a pervasive social narrative about what it means to be female — a narrative that we have understood from an early age.
And that narrative does not actually include speaking up or being angry.
It isn’t just the salmon who are swimming upstream — and right into the jaws of the waiting predators.
And so we have a wee bit of a dilemma (understatement alert). Getting angry about injustice plays right into the hands of those in power because the social narrative is activated and suddenly the message is lost in the volley of arrows used to Shoot the Messenger.
Sparkle wonders why bitch is pejorative?
I suspect people in power NEED women to be angry. Not only do social pressures help manage angry women, but so do our own internal messages. Angry women can therefore be rendered ineffective and/or they can be silenced -- simply by the activation of implicit and internalized social narratives.
Clever strategy.
We must be smarter. All of us.
I believe in the goodness of humans, no matter the stripes. I know well the social narratives that suppress women also limit and hurt men.
And if anger is a trigger, it is also a shield. It covers up pain and vulnerability, and in doing so disinvites others into an understanding of our experience.
Maybe the secret to effectively highlighting injustice and/or asking for change is to stay present with the pain and not take cover in anger, no matter how justified it feels.
After all, we also have a powerful social narrative about how to respond to an unarmed, wounded person…
