Dear Daughter frequently wonders what strangeness of character allowed me — a high school drop-out with two kids by age 20 — to march off to college and wind up with three degrees, including a Ph.D., from the University of California at Berkeley.
I have never really had a good answer.
Not only did I lack the skills one usually gets in high school college-prep courses, but I also consistently worked throughout my 13+ years of higher education, had multiple life-altering traumatic events along the way — and of course there were those small humans along for the adventure.
Nobody can accuse me of taking the educational easy route — that is for sure.
But I think I now have her answer, and it came from a snowy bike ride to work.
As I drove to the place where I would start my bike commute yesterday morning, I was talking to my dad on the phone. I explained that it was snowing but that I was going to be riding anyway.
There are so many things he could have said.
“Be careful.”
“Won’t it be icy?”
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Let me know when you arrive so I won’t worry about you.”
“Why don’t you just drive all the way in today?”
He said none of those things.
Instead, he told me to stick out my tongue and catch some snowflakes. Seriously. That was his response. Catch snowflakes with my tongue.
And with that simple and whimsical statement, I am finally able to answer Dear Daughter’s question.
As I rode my bike and reflected on my dad’s response, I realized that throughout my life his response to every whacky or unrealistic idea I came up with was along those same lines — stick out your tongue and catch some snowflakes.
My father believes in me — and he always has. I cannot remember a time when he tried to instill doubt in my mind about my ideas, decisions, or plans.
Not at all.
And by doing that — by always trusting and believing in me — my dad taught me to be bold, and to believe in myself.
What an amazing gift.
And that, Dear Daughter, is the answer to your question.
I marched off to a major university — ill-prepared and with two kids in tow — because your grandfather told me to catch snowflakes instead of reminding me to be careful.
It really is that simple. And amazing.