Welcome to Pandemic Platitudes!
A new game to find the best of the endless stream of Pandemic Platitudes!!
Yesterday’s winner is…
“You are not stuck at home — you are safe at home.”
Wait — what?!
Don’t be fooled by the lack of overt malice, Dear Friends. Platitudes are “you-should-not-feel-as-you-do” scoldings that don’t land well because they are unkind and dismissive.
They are also dangerous.
Maybe being stuck at home is making their suicidal thoughts worse, or they are having a hard time controlling their rages towards their partner or children.
Maybe saying, “I am stuck at home” was just a way to assess your willingness to care, to relate, to listen, to understand. Regardless of intention, platitudes convey the opposite of all those important things.
A platitude is not actually about the person with the hard feelings.
Rather, a platitude is all about the one saying — in code we all understand — you-should-not-feel-like-that-around-me; we shall henceforth call that person the Platituder.
And so if the intention is to scold someone for their feelings — platitude away. If the intention is to convey something like, “begone from my presence, messy feelings” — go Platituder!
But if you want to respond in a kind and supportive way, say something like, “I am sorry” or “It sounds like being home all the time is rough” or “what is making it especially hard to be at home right now?”
That said, if someone asks, “how can I think differently about being stuck at home?” it would be great to say, “what about thinking that you are safe at home instead of stuck at home?”
Remember: An expression of feeling is not a request to fix anything. It is just an expression of feeling. No tools required.
If someone wants an idea for how to think or feel differently, trust that they will ask.
Now we come to the really important part — Are you platituding yourself these days?