Yesterday Suzanne helped me with my training arena. We sorted equipment into piles — some went to her, some will be moved with me, and some went into Trusty Rusty to go to the dump.
I trained with Claire in that space on Friday. She is entered in Open A obedience in an upcoming show, and with the help of Librela — she was ready to go. Librela let her jump well again.
Now her CDX will remain an unrealized dream — one of so many.
Grief makes us raw. It peels away layers, exposing what is real and true. There is vulnerability in grief and there is also power that comes from simply not having enough forks to give.
This is familiar space to me. I know what to expect. I know how to navigate this. I will be okay and I say that with both certainty and from a place of not okay right now.
In six days I will leave this house where I have lived for 15+ years.
A place where hopes and dreams both lived — and died. A place of joy — and profound betrayal and sorrow.
And now one less dog is moving with me 💔🤯
Claire and Capella
Sometimes we have to intentionally, mindfully compartmentalize and that is what I doing. I must finish packing. I must take care of my students/classes (online, thankfully). I must tend to my responsibilities. I must take good care of myself.
I was already doing this with a myriad of losses moving through the other experiences associated with starting a new life chapter.
I just never expected the chapter that is ending would involve the death of one of the central characters.
💔